woah calm down im just trying to date your dad
i may seem like an angry person on the surface but deep inside im actually angrier
no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.
life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them